My Father-in-Law
This is without a doubt the hardest post I’ve had to write yet. When I shared a little more than four months ago about my sweet father-in-law’s glioblastoma brain tumor diagnosis, I never imagined come June I would be writing that he passed away. As a family, we were not ignorant of the statistics of this type of cancer (combined with his age – 76), but we had hope of time with him. So we are reeling a bit, as you would expect.
Even though this is not the usual scope of my blog, I hope you’ll bear with me as I reflect a moment on an exemplary life well-lived.
The very first time I met my future father-in-law (at an Oregon Duck football game!) I quickly realized where Brian got his sense of humor and love of life. And that bringing chocolate chip cookies was a good idea. He enjoyed laughing and joking, and yet was a scholar who had earned a Fullbright Scholarship that took him to Turkey before returning to a career teaching math to high school students for more than 30 years.
Then, when he and my mother-in-law ‘retired’ from teaching here, they moved to Kuwait and then to Bahrain to teach more – perfectly living out how God and people were the two most important things in their lives. When they moved back, missions remained important to them and they continued to support and encourage people to think about missions.
And how we have been blessed by his attentive and caring ways with our kids! Not only was he a fun grandpa, he also joyously taught them truths from the Bible while living these same truths out as an example for them to see.
Have I ever mentioned that both my in-laws spent months preparing and planning a week-long summer camp for their grandkids? We would all meet down at the Oregon Coast for “Camp Mil-Mar” (named for a house built by Brian’s grandparents – Millet & Marion – that we would gather in) where the kids would do crafts, learn about famous Christians (Jim Elliot and Eric Liddel, to name two), memorize Bible verses, and learn to waterski on the lake by the house. And they did this for more than 10 years.
Maybe blessed is an understatement.
Brian, dad, our son, and my brother.
We felt the effects of his generous spirit throughout the years, too. Whether it was gifting us with a used car, helping us dig a new trench for a waterline, or paying for our summer family get-togethers, he did what he could to help support us and show us his love through time and whatever resources he could afford.
Since he worked his whole life as a teacher and was careful with his money, we did not take any of this lightly. A generous spirit goes beyond monetary value – if he had nothing to give but his time, he would’ve done that for anyone who needed it.
My daughter and I were talking about how grandpa lived his life for God and to the fullest. We realized that if he knew last June that he only had a year to live, he probably wouldn’t have lived it any differently. He loved God and people, invested in relationships, and shared his beliefs up to the moment the splitting headache changed his (and our) world. He had no need for a “bucket list” – he traveled and did the things he felt God called him to do his entire life and didn’t wait for a “perfect” time.
That’s an example worth following.
Thank you so much, sweet friends, for your uplifting words and amazing kindness over the last months (and over on Facebook – wow) as our family has walked this path. Really, from the depths of my heart – I felt a great virtual hug and it really did help. Hold your loved ones close and spend as much time with them as you can!
How precious. What a blessing he was to your family and I’m sure you were to him.
My fave line: “We realized that if he knew last June that he only had a year to live, he probably wouldn’t have lived it any differently.” WOW!! What a powerful testimony: to live for God and your family without one regret.
You are (were) truly blessed.
I’m so sorry for your loss – thank you for sharing a tribute to someone who was clearly inspiring and living out his love for the Lord.
A beautiful tribute of love! He was a treasure to his family and I’m sure that he’ll live on in each one of you. I know God is smiling right now because his dear child completed a great work on earth and is now watching over his loved ones from Heaven. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Jami, So sorry for your loss but thank you so much for sharing the life of your father-in-law, what a Godly man he was. You and your family will be in my prayers. I lost my dad in October and I know what a loss it is to lose a parent.
Jami, thank you so much for sharing your father-in-law’s story. He sounds like a remarkable man, whose loss will leave a hole in your family, for sure. But it sounds as though you all will have many, many stories and many, many memories to share with each other. I hope those will be a comfort to you all, forever.
As I have commented several times over the past few years, what I enjoy most about An Oregon Cottage are the family stories, recipes, home projects, and traditions you share with all of us. I’m not a gardener, a do-it-yourself’er, or a crafter, but I do love when you allow us a little peek into your world in Oregon.
God Bless your father-in-law and your family in this sad time.
Best regards,
Jean
Jami,
This is beautiful! He sounds like an amazing man of God.:) I love you guys, and I’ll continue to keep you all in my prayers! <3
Kerry
I am so sorry for your family’ s loss. It sounds as if he lead a life well lived leaving his family and countless others with wonderful memories.
Prayers and Hugs to your family. What an extraordinary & amazing Dad & Mom! Take care. Be strong, I am sure he is watching over you all right now.
Jami,
Our prayers are with you and your family. May your father-in-law
be at peace and watch over your family. God Bless You and your Family
in this time of sorrow.
I am sorry for your family’s loss and the grieving you must now endure. How blessed y’all are to have had such a wonderful example of generosity in your lives. Peace be to you and yours…
I am so sorry about your wonderful father in law, what an amazing man!!! He will always be watching you and the family with his beautiful smile and loving heart!!
What a beautiful tribute to an amazing man. Your family has been truly blessed to have shared your life with him. My prayers go out to you and your family!!
Jami ~
My heart aches for you. I know the pain that you are feeling… My Dad died suddenly and I learned that you are never fully prepared for these type of events. I’m glad that you had the “extra-time” to make more memories with your father-in-law. Writing down your wonderful memories is something that you will treasure in the years to come. What a wonderful man and what a legacy he has left for his family. You can rejoice that his suffering is over and that he can finally worship at his Saviors feet. God will help you to get through EACH moment. I will keep you in my prayers.
What a lovely tribute! So blessed that you are always going to reap the rewards of the love that he shared with his son/your hubby, and his grandchildren. God is good. May HE carry you all through this time of loss of your loved one. Praying you through.
Dear Jami,
what a beautiful post about a lovely man. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father to the same type of cancer 18 years ago. My father was diagnosed on January 22, 1995 and died March 19, 1995 at age 56. I know how painful it is to have such a short time to say goodbye. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Michele
I have been following your site for only a short while. I recently lost my mother. I know that there is nothing but the love of God to help you get thru this sad time. You are in my prayers that you can find the peace that God can only give.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and yours are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your family with us!
OH how I know the pain, sweet friend. I loved that you took the time to share who he was to you and your family – what a huge blessing for you. May his memory bring you joy in the midst of the pain of missing him and will his light continue to shine in what you do to remember him. {HUGS!!!}
Jami, what a beautiful tribute you have written to a life lived as it should have been. He is in heaven now, but those left behind are sad and reeling. I know you will miss him terribly. I lost a son last year and my wonderful father-in-law 5 years ago. I miss them every day. Please know you are thought of and prayed for and that in time and with God’s help, it will get better. I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh, Jami, I’m so sorry to hear that. He sounds like a truly amazing human being. And the “summer camps”? How amazing is that?! What fond memories it must have created for all the grandkids. My thoughts are with you and your family during this horribly sad time.