My Father-in-Law
This is without a doubt the hardest post I’ve had to write yet. When I shared a little more than four months ago about my sweet father-in-law’s glioblastoma brain tumor diagnosis, I never imagined come June I would be writing that he passed away. As a family, we were not ignorant of the statistics of this type of cancer (combined with his age – 76), but we had hope of time with him. So we are reeling a bit, as you would expect.
Even though this is not the usual scope of my blog, I hope you’ll bear with me as I reflect a moment on an exemplary life well-lived.
The very first time I met my future father-in-law (at an Oregon Duck football game!) I quickly realized where Brian got his sense of humor and love of life. And that bringing chocolate chip cookies was a good idea. He enjoyed laughing and joking, and yet was a scholar who had earned a Fullbright Scholarship that took him to Turkey before returning to a career teaching math to high school students for more than 30 years.
Then, when he and my mother-in-law ‘retired’ from teaching here, they moved to Kuwait and then to Bahrain to teach more – perfectly living out howĀ God and people were the two most important things in their lives. When they moved back, missions remained important to them and they continued to support and encourage people to think about missions.
And how we have been blessed by his attentive and caring ways with our kids! Not only was he a fun grandpa, he also joyously taught them truths from the Bible while living these same truths out as an example for them to see.
Have I ever mentioned that both my in-laws spent months preparing and planning a week-long summer camp for their grandkids? We would all meet down at the Oregon Coast for “Camp Mil-Mar” (named for a house built by Brian’s grandparents – Millet & Marion – that we would gather in) where the kids would do crafts, learn about famous Christians (Jim Elliot and Eric Liddel, to name two), memorize Bible verses, and learn to waterski on the lake by the house. And they did this for more than 10 years.
Maybe blessed is an understatement.
Brian, dad, our son, and my brother.
We felt the effects of his generous spirit throughout the years, too. Whether it was gifting us with a used car, helping us dig a new trench for a waterline, or paying for our summer family get-togethers, he did what he could to help support us and show us his love through time and whatever resources he could afford.
Since he worked his whole life as a teacher and was careful with his money, we did not take any of this lightly. A generous spirit goes beyond monetary value – if he had nothing to give but his time, he would’ve done that for anyone who needed it.
My daughter and I were talking about how grandpa lived his life for God and to the fullest. We realized that if he knew last June that he only had a year to live, he probably wouldn’t have lived it any differently. He loved God and people, invested in relationships, and shared his beliefs up to the moment the splitting headache changed his (and our) world. He had no need for a “bucket list” – he traveled and did the things he felt God called him to do his entire life and didn’t wait for a “perfect” time.
That’s an example worth following.
Thank you so much, sweet friends, for your uplifting words and amazing kindness over the last months (and over on Facebook – wow) as our family has walked this path. Really, from the depths of my heart – I felt a great virtual hug and it really did help. Hold your loved ones close and spend as much time with them as you can!
Your father-in-law’s godly sweetness just jumped off my computer screen and into my heart. I wished I had known him. I’m sure you miss him terribly but because of our Hope, you will one day see him again. He has truly left you and your family a priceless inheritance.
Blessings, Sister,
Missouri Barb
So, so sorry for your loss, yet singing praises for a life well lived to the glory of God!
Jami, Praying for you friend. I am so thinking about you and Brian and his family. What a wonderful man he was. I am so glad we got to know him. Brian is a lot like his dad indeed. God blessed you with a wonderful family Jami. Let me know if he has a service so we can attend. God is blessed to have him with him in heaven. We love you Jami and Brian.
Jami, I’m truly sorry for your family’s loss. What an amazing reflection of an amazing man. I would LOVE to have known him. I’m thankful that you did and are parted for only a short time. May God strengthen you and yours during these bittersweet moments.
I live in Russia. I understand your grief. Iām so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memorial to your father in law.
Our prayers are with you and your family, especially Sunday, as we know that will be a difficult day. As hard as it is (its been 10 years for us this year), it is such a blessing to know when a saint finally makes it home š Thank you so much for sharing his life with us.
Hi Jami,
I am vey sorry to hear the sad news and I pray that God gave courage to go thru this difficult time in life. You will always be in my prayers at all times.
almas
Beautifully written about a beautiful life. Thank you for sharing. What a challenge to us all!
Peace to you and your family during these times.
Jami,
This is not the first time I have read one of your posts, but it is the first time I’ve felt compelled to respond. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with your father-in-law, who seemed like an absolutely caring, dedicated, and generous human being. I am glad that you included that even though many gifts of his were monetary, he also gave very generously of his time. You and your family are in my thoughts during this very difficult time.
I am so sorry for your family for your loss.
Jami, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know there are many, many differently feelings and emotions your family is going through. Please know that we are praying for guys.
Jami,
I’m so sorry for your loss. Having lost my mom less than a month ago I know the depths of despair your family is going through. It truly helps to gather your family close and lean on each other as much as you need. You all know how blessed you were that you had him as long as you did.
Please know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
Jami and family- what a beautiful tribute! He sounds lime an amazing man.
Please take the time you need tp be with ypur family and support each other. Family comes first! We will all still be here when you are ready to come back.
Thank you for sharing what a blessing he was to you. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. You are in our prayers.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memorial to your father in law.
Jami, I am so very sorry for your loss. May God comfort you and your family during this sad time. Your post is one of the most beautiful tributes I’ve ever read. After reading your heartfelt words, I feel almost as if I’d known him. I wish peace and strength for you all.
Leslie
Jami, What a wonderful life story. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Jami, I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your father-in-law. My prayers are for you and your family in the coming days. ā„
Jami, my heart just aches for you and your family. Thank you for writing such a beautiful post in honor of your amazing father-in-law. If every man on this earth lived such a commendable and honorable life, what a different world this would be. Because of how blessed you’ve been your loss is that much more profound. Please know you and your family are in my prayers.
So sorry to hear of his passing. We all know that he is in a better place with God. No more suffering or pain. Our prays are with you. He sounded like a remarkable man. Peace be with you.